Ever struggle with knowing God’s will for you? How about the willingness to walk in it?  Join Suzette Katopodes and I as we discuss some of the challenges that come even when you step out into something he has planned for you.  Suzette is a wife and a mom.  About three years ago, she stepped into a full-time caregiver for her adult sister with down syndrome and Alzheimer’s.  Just because she is sure that God called her to this role doesn’t make the challenges go away.  Suzette shared she still needs to ask for God’s guidance and willingness daily.  I needed the encouragement that even in the plans God has for us we need to seek him every day for wisdom and willingness.  

Click here for a full transcript of the show. 

Verses mentioned in the episode:

·      Matthew 6:33

·      Timothy 1:7

·      Acts 16:7-9

Journaling Questions:

·      Am I willing to ask God to soften my heart?

·      Are you trying to earn the status of good by your actions?

·      Do you struggle to ask for help?  Why?

·      In trying to seek God’s will – how do you test your plans? if they are met by resistance?  What is the resistance? 

Do life’s circumstances leave you wondering what is God’s will?  How do you deal with this or handle that?  Where do you go from here? What is your next step?

We often find ourselves in this place and it can be overwhelming.  I have gathered some verses and some questions into a journaling resource to help us process what’s next- how do we act in trust? 

Sign up here to receive your free, 5-day journaling tool to help explore your next step of trust.  

 I want to hear from you!
 You can find me and join in the conversation on Facebook and Instagram @stepstotrusting.

Hashtag your story of God’s faithfulness and stepping out in faith. #stepstotrusting

Connect with Suzette Katopodes @myconcretedove on Instagram

Check out her writing at myconcretedove.com 

Tips:

Write a verse on a sticky note and take it with you.

Change focus from what we are doing to what God is doing.

See Below for a full transcript of the show.    

[00:00:00] Erin: Hi friends. This is Erin Michele. Welcome to steps to trusting at steps to trusting and is our goal to meet you where you are in your faith journey. And to encourage you to continue to take steps, to trusting the Lord more fully . Welcome back.

[00:00:20]  Erin: on today’s show. I was joined by Suzette And with my time with Suzette, she talked a lot about the position she has in caregiving. But there was deeper issues coming through questions. And how do we trust the Lord? How do we find ourselves in a place of willingness? Is it a daily need to seek the Lord for willingness says that, and I don’t necessarily have the answers to these questions for you, but we are talking through them talking about the need to daily, come before the Lord and offer up a willing heart and actually asking the Lord to soften our hearts, that we would desire to be willing what he calls us to. I don’t know what God is calling you to right now. And I don’t know if you are finding your heart in that willing place. If you find yourself in a place where you are questioning, am I willing to do the thing I believe God has laid out in front of me. Then this podcast conversation is for you.

[00:01:21] I pray that you’ll be blessed.

[00:01:22] I wanted to welcome Suzette to the show. I know Suzette as a writer and a friend, but Suzette has many roles that she plays in her life. she’s the mom of four adults, the wife for her husband for the last 30 years, a full time worker and a full-time caregiver to her sister. Like you, she has many roles and many, choices to make each day seeking to do that with joy.

[00:01:53] Suzette You know, this podcast is called steps to trusting. So how would you describe your daily steps to trusting the Lord?

[00:02:03] Suzette: For me, I can’t get through challenges without trusting him first. I’d like to say it comes to the forefront of my mind every single time, that something happens. I’ve been caregiving. Full-time here at my house for, I think we’re in our third year so I take care of my sister got down syndrome and Alzheimer’s is 57. And he came to live with us after my mom had quite a few health struggles, a little chain of them. So she needed to stay with me cause mom was in rehab. My mom is 92 this year. And now she’s doing fine, but she’s still 92 needs a walker. She can’t be taking care of an adult that has other special needs in so many ways.

[00:02:43] So while she was in the hospital, I managed to convince her after Michelle lived with us for three months, that she needed to stay at our house. And mom didn’t want to give her up, for a lot of reasons, But there’s no way that I could do that without standing in God’s strength.

[00:03:00]

[00:03:01] Suzette : He gave me the strength to do everything I could do then. And then finally told me, you have to ask for help. You have to ask for help. It’s not a failure. Ask for help. Trust me. And so I finally asked for the help and wow. Did he deliver, that’s just, that’s just the way God is and the way he has been in this caregiving journey, which is not always so smooth.

[00:03:23] And challenges for us are how she going to react in the shower?

[00:03:27] Is she going to be frightened, which she has become in the last couple of months, showers scare her. So they’re difficult. What about eating? Michelle is having trouble with anything with texture, so how do I come up with the right food combo that she will eat and that will nourish her? Some of that’s difficult. How do we get creative with, oatmeal? How do we get creative with stuff? Right. Cause I mean, he wanted things to taste cause that encourages someone to eat something. Anyway, that’s another, that’s another talent. How about when I go out, is there going to be a bathroom nearby?

[00:04:00] Is there going to be an accident involved? Am I going to get through the doctor’s appointment? Which are also scary for her now. She knows where we’re going. but she gets nervous about it. Any kind of tests mammogram, bone density test, all these tests, And so we’re deciding which tests to do and which test not to do. Whether it’s an annual screening . Is it necessary because she is getting to the point, she’d have to be sedated to take the test, even if it’s not painful. It’s just frightening to her. So I’m having to decide what is necessary. I’m trusting God to give me the wisdom of what to say yes or no to, and also like what to worry about what is necessary.

[00:04:39] Is it necessary that I fold the towels today? Or is it necessary that maybe I take her out for a walk or I make my husband dinner or something else. Right. There’s something else what’s the what’s necessary. But the trust that I will make reasonably good decisions and make the most of my time and blessing the family.

[00:04:59] And not that it’s something that I feel I must do to say I’m being a good caregiver, a good sister, good wife, a good mom, so we don’t have to do all the things all the time. Right. So yeah, trusting him for almost everything, but of helped me decide what I’m supposed to do right now,

[00:05:19] Erin: Can you elaborate a little bit on that statement you just said about it, not being out of the pressure of doing something because you want to have that identity of like good, like in front of wife or caregiver or sister.

[00:05:35] Suzette : Yes.

[00:05:35]  Erin: Yeah.

[00:05:36] Suzette : Yeah. That is what made me wait so long to get help. I mean, I saw that as a personal failure. I’m that person that in the group projects can identify the one that’s not going to do their part and do their part along with my part. And that’s a terrible, terrible thing. So there was no trust involved at all there, and that’s terrible because you’re carrying a load.

[00:05:59] You don’t have to carry, it’s not yours to carry. Not having to feel like it’s some identity of mine do this.

[00:06:06] I had to really grapple with that asking for help because I felt like I had to do it.

[00:06:12]  Erin: This

[00:06:12] Suzette : is what people expect me to do. And, and realizing that, well, nobody’s standing there checking off what I’m doing. Oh yeah. She did this. She did that. Okay. We’re going to give her a good rating. That’s good. Who is Checking that except for me. And I had to put that checklist away, so to speak and just saying, the days are different now.

[00:06:32] And I never know what’s going to happen the next day and I just have to trust God. and let him direct my steps. and be sensitive to that now. No, one’s

[00:06:42] Audibly telling me, okay, don’t do the towels, go for a walk.

[00:06:46]  Erin: Right,

[00:06:47] Suzette : No, one’s doing that, but it’s okay. You only have so many hours in the day.

[00:06:51] what must you do? and then what can you do? And nobody’s there, it’s not super caregiver’s supermom, super wife day. Just doesn’t happen that way. And there’s nobody here with those expectations. For me, my husband is not like that. My kids are not like that. And I thought I’ve had to let go of that. Unreasonable expectations. they’re not good for anybody.

[00:07:12]  Erin: Yeah. I think that is a struggle for, probably for a lot of people. I relate very much to whether it’s an expectation that I put on myself or whether I think it’s an expectation from other people. So the theme verse for my podcast is two 10. for we are God’s workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. And so often I find that. There’s this balance between trying to figure out what are the plans that God has laid out for me. what is my own desires or thoughts that I’ve tried to lay out for myself. , So this idea that there are good works that we walk in and that they are already prepared. I struggle in knowing what are the things that I’m supposed to walk in and what are my own expectations of that. And so trying to divide out, what are the things God has prepared for me, but also knowing there’s grace in what I don’t accomplish. there is this pressure that I put on myself I guess I’m thinking about the decipher thing of. Of God’s will of, what he actually has planned out for us. what is the own pressure of us trying to build our own identity instead of resting in the identity that he’s given us?

[00:08:37] Suzette : Yes,

[00:08:38]  Erin: Yeah.

[00:08:39] Suzette : We tend to put that on ourselves, I think sometimes. Life circumstances does that. years ago, my mom started asking, what are we going to do about Michelle? And my immediate response was, well, she’s going to come and live with us. I didn’t even ask my husband about that. He was going to come and live with us.

[00:08:58] We might have a conversation. I don’t know if we had the conversation at that time. My dad was ill. He was sick for about 20 years on and off. Right. And so every day he was in the hospital, my mom would be at the hospital. That meant she took my sister on a bus or in a cab. Through the hospital. And then we would go at night, my brother, or I usually may go pick her up and bring both of them home.

[00:09:21] Right. So she would ask me that. And later when I started taking care of Michelle more, I’m like, why didn’t they ever make plans? Why didn’t they ever figure this out? And so Lord made it clear to me is that my mom had her hands full already with a sick husband and a

[00:09:40] special needs adult woman in the house there.

[00:09:43] And she just didn’t, couldn’t be on the phone talking about all of these things, right. Her medical stuff and all of that. But I just went, oh, well, we’ll take her. didn’t even think about it. And later my husband and I talked about it, of course. And he said, yeah, that’s fine. We didn’t know. Alzheimer’s even affected all the time. Down syndrome people like I think it’s 50% or something. It’s a huge, it’s a huge amount. So but yeah, so now she has that.

[00:10:09] We didn’t know that it’s a whole different set of circumstances, but I believe that God lined things up, and, it may not have been my choice in the beginning. Even when I raised my hand, cause I didn’t know what I was getting into, but he arranged it and we’re doing it and we’re capable of doing it.

[00:10:27] So he provided for that and to me those were the work they had prepared beforehand for me and probably my husband cause they put us together, Yeah. And so we’re walking, we’re walking in that sometimes kicking and screaming, maybe being pulled, but we’re there.

[00:10:45]  Erin: Yeah. I can hear your trust in God has brought you to where you are and taking care of your sister is that your first reaction ?

[00:10:54] Suzette : It’s getting to be my first reaction now, as I’m a more seasoned believer, I guess, more experience and a lot of challenges and that doesn’t necessarily have to do with age so much as it is it has to do with things that come up in your life, right. How you handle them.

[00:11:09] we did have some problems once and she was cut off from Medicaid and I’m like, oh my gosh, what do we do? So I prayed a lot about it and I’m like, I don’t think God is going to want her to not get the help she needs.

[00:11:21]

[00:11:21] Suzette : first I had my initial freak out and I prayed about it then I said, wait a minute. would God just stop handing her cared for? how does that align with his character? Right. How does that align with that? And it doesn’t, but I know sometimes we have challenges that test us. Right. And so I just prayed about it, that I got the information like on a Friday, so I had the whole weekend to deal with that. Right. And

[00:11:45]  Erin: Well,

[00:11:45] Suzette : just, I just prayed about it and I said, okay, Lord, I’m just going to go talk to them, bring all whatever proof I have that

[00:11:51] I submitted with this form, and explain it, let me just get there early in the morning.

[00:11:56] And it’s always a stressor because At that time, that was a couple of years ago, Michelle was going into a day program every day, so I could go to work,

[00:12:05] but was always going to need to work at nine, nine 30, 10 o’clock

[00:12:08] I’m like,

[00:12:08] Oh my gosh. So I was working until seven o’clock at night, and that this was really hard to do.

[00:12:13] But if this program was cut off, I would have to not work. and I have the medical insurance. So all of these things were going around in my head, what happened? And then I started to think about it. I said, well, that doesn’t make sense. That’s that can’t be right. So I’m just going to trust guys to say, this is a human error thing.

[00:12:30] Maybe to get my attention that he’s providing all of this. I am not providing this through my work or my efforts. I am not doing it. He is completely providing this and my security is in him and Michelle’s is definitely in him, And so I’m just going to trust that it’s going to get figured out, and I went to sleep.

[00:12:51] And I went to the appointment. I wasn’t even an appointment. It was a walk-in and and then they had read minutes taken care of. And so I’m going out to my car and, speaking.

[00:13:01] Thank you

[00:13:02] Jesus. Thank you. your character is true. You are there for us. All I have to do is trust you and trust you and trust you again.

[00:13:11]  Erin: I love that. reminder of you saying like, maybe this was just to get my attention to remind me that God is the one who’s going to take care of her. And, and even that acknowledgement that it might not look this way.

[00:13:23] Erin: It reminds me that God is our provider and he is trustworthy.

[00:13:28] Suzette : Right.

[00:13:29]  Erin: Yeah.

[00:13:30] I feel something God has been teaching me that I often am trusting in my own strength and I have to turn back and I have to go wait a second.

[00:13:39] This can’t be about, having the right attitude or saying the right words. This is God’s working in my life as something is going well for me, it’s not because I’m so great. It’s because God has given me a gift that I don’t deserve.

[00:13:51] Suzette : Yeah.

[00:13:52]  Erin: those challenges are hard, but it’s really cool.

[00:13:55] Like when you can have the perspective of like, this is God teaching me something and reminding me that this is his gift, instead of reminding me that it is, my own strength.

[00:14:04] Suzette : Yeah. That is a area that I have struggled with for a long time is security. So I’ve always worked harder, work overtime, raise my hand for the project, And now it’s, is it time to retire? Is it not, are you going to be able to live on what you had or not? so that was an experience to say, I’m here, The Lord, take me. I’m here. Look at Matthew six 33, right? Where the Lord is going to provide it. it’s just to say trust me and all of these things will be given to you.

[00:14:38]  Erin: I’m going to look it up for us.

[00:14:39] So Matthew six 33, but seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.

[00:14:47] Suzette : Yeah.

[00:14:47]  Erin: Yeah, I love that verse. And

[00:14:50] I relate to you saying this is something I’ve struggled with for awhile.

[00:14:53] This is something that I’m noticing in my life I actually am doing a study that I did a year ago, and I’m reading the same words and I get to the end. And I’m seeing oh, I’m thinking the same thing a year later that I was thinking, then that God is still working the same thing in my heart that I still need to learn. Right. Yeah. and that reminder of seeking him first instead of

[00:15:13] Suzette : What I can do about it.

[00:15:15]  Erin: exactly what you can do about it

[00:15:18] Suzette : I can do all kinds of things, but he’s in control. So my efforts may be completely, useless and probably will be if I’m not relying on God first. And so seek first the kingdom and all of these things will be given to you. like I said, it’s a, it’s a struggle thing.

[00:15:35] When to retire what do I do about Michelle, asking for help and realizing, as you said I am here to help her, but is not my responsibility. She’s God’s responsibility. He’s given me the ability and resources to be able to care for her. But in the end, she is his child first, my mom’s child second. I am her sister and I’m here to see that, she’s taken care of in this world. but God has been providing the resources to do all of that for her life, for her whole life. So while there’s a challenge, some days are very challenging. As her Alzheimer’s progresses relying on God is it’s so important every day.. And those days, as hard as they might be are easier because I’m talking to him. I know he’s with me. and that bringing a different kind of meaning to this whole experience with her.

[00:16:29]  Erin: how do you feed that relationship with the Lord?

[00:16:32] Suzette : Oh, I love to get up early in the morning. I mean, it sounds kind of cliched as Christian ladies through right. Get up and have my quiet time, but I love to do that. I get up and I have a Bible study going. Sometimes I just sit in the dark and I put on a, quiet meditation music, or I have a piano hymns, YouTube channel, And I just sit silently and have a conversation. and I’m trying to teach myself to wait to let God talk back to me, give him some room in the conversation.

[00:17:04] it’s not audible voices, but, read scripture and then have some connection there. I might find a verse and put it on a sticky note, carry it around with me during the day, but on my computer screen at work

[00:17:15] I like to just spend time in whatever he leaves me that day. prayer and scripture are always involved.

[00:17:21]  Erin: What are some verses that are important to you in this season right now?

[00:17:25] Suzette : Well

[00:17:26] there are a few this Matthew six 33 is my verse of the year, this year. I’m exploring that. What are these, what are these things, that I need to focus on and trust the hand to, bring them in his own time. Another is second Timothy one seven,

[00:17:42] It’s God, hasn’t given us a spirit of fear, but a power and love and sound mind in some places it’s self-discipline for a long time it was fear. I was trying to overcome that one is pretty calmed down most for the most part, but the self-discipline is, is something that I realized I really need to work on.

[00:17:59] And that is self discipline is taking care of myself because I can’t take care of Michelle or anyone else if I’m not taking care of my physical body, my spirit, and doing the quiet time in the morning, making sure that I’m said that way. And then also just be physically mindful of what I’m eating and making sure I’m moving because this pandemic has kind of played havoc on that for a lot of us, but not being able to get out as much.

[00:18:23]

[00:18:23] Suzette : And so I’m kind of focusing on that self-discipline part, because he’s given us our body too, and we need to take care of them. He’s got plans for us. We can’t do it if we’re not healthy. Right.

[00:18:33]  Erin: So you’re talking a lot about choices that you made out really to your sister in your home and to care for her. So what choices were you making? Are you continually making inwardly in regards to that decision?

[00:18:49] Suzette : a couple of weeks ago there was a shower and it was this really traumatic experience for both of us. And I mean, I, afterwards I was kneeling in the bathroom, praying on the, toilet.

[00:19:00] help me to get through this minute, clean up my emotions here. And Because she goes to bed and usually after the shower and calms her down, but how do I get through the rest of this, help me with the rest of this, because I feel like I’m hurting her, I’m staring her, it’s, it’s horrible,

[00:19:17] right? but how can I do that?

[00:19:19] help me to get through it. And is this not an immediate answer, but you get up the next day, smile, go in, say time to get up. And it, it is getting better early on in the beginning, I was like, what in the world did I get myself into that was before I asked for help? And I said, Lord, just, soften my heart, put my mind and my heart in the right place.

[00:19:39] I can’t be fighting this the whole time because she will feel that, and I don’t want to put more frown lines on my face. I want to be smiling. I want to be joyful. I want to Enjoy this time, that we have as much as possible. And with my mom too, right, 92, she’s not going to be here forever.

[00:19:57] None of us are. So how can I, embrace this time differently. and he’s doing it, he’s doing it. Caregivers can be and go from depression to anger, to resentment all of it over time and something I didn’t think to check out before I became one.

[00:20:13] I didn’t think to back that out.

[00:20:14] But took a class and learned to recognize it and how better learn some tools to deal with it.

[00:20:20] all of those things I have to trust God for, because I can’t soften my own heart, I can make it harder though. And I have to choose not to do that. Like, I don’t want to do that. that hardness spills over to everybody. I don’t want to be in that place.

[00:20:34] So. That’s the trust guides, helped me through every day.

[00:20:37]  Erin: you mentioned about choosing outwardly to be your sister’s caregiver, but choosing inwardly that willingness to do so. Would tell us a little bit about that willingness and how that changed in your heart?

[00:20:50] Suzette : I would say it’s still changing. It’s still changing. And it’s different every day. It has gotten easier with help. I had her. In our care for about a year before I actually acknowledged that I was a hundred percent caregiver now I was thinking sister.

[00:21:07] I wanted to fight it. I don’t know what it was, but after I’m like, oh, wow, okay, this is your life now. And the only way it ends is a sad way. I would lose her or I would be at a point where we couldn’t physically take care of her anymore. I’m like, okay, no, no, you have to switch that in your mind that yes, you’re her sister, but you’re also responsible for everything that has to do with her life and health. And wellbeing. And so that’s when I started asking God, can I do, what can I do?

[00:21:36] what can I do? So I I changed my morning routine somewhat. At that time I sought out my old pastor and I counseled with him and mentored with him and he put me on a whole different track and training thing to take my focus off of what I was doing and more on God, what God is doing.

[00:21:58] That there is purpose in my life. it’s not just going to work and figuring out how to feed somebody, taking them to a doctor’s appointment, running them back over, back and forth to my mom’s every weekend. it can be very tiring, But the daily and willingly say, yeah, I’m, I’m going to do this.

[00:22:16] That’s the almost everyday thing I was in getting to be in a pretty dark place. I was getting pretty angry. I was pretty resentful. I was as I said, I’m like, why didn’t they make plans? what, what is it? So it’s every day and God is working and I, and I noticed it now I’m smiling more, I’m happier. My word of the year is, is Focus and focus on God,

[00:22:39] And and I’m trying to write and read a lot about joy. And I think he’s the one who put all of that in to my, desiring to learn more and focus on, right? Because your perspective changes when you start to see things through God’s eyes, ask him, show me what is the purpose of this?

[00:22:59]  show me what I’m supposed to do here. Put my focus on him instead kind of clears my vision altogether,

[00:23:05] what I’m supposed to do. you’re just not always willing, but sometimes you just realize that’s what he’s given you to do that’s your purpose right now.

[00:23:15]  Erin: if I understand it, right, you said the task in front of you is kind of your purpose for the moment. But I would actually push back on that a little bit. And I think you, in what you said earlier may have actually even pushed back on that a little bit too, in that God does give us those steps. the purpose is, is bigger than that step. Right? I think the, the focus and the reality of like, this is my responsibility right now. but this responsibility is not my purpose.

[00:23:44] Erin: My purpose is to bring God glory and I can do that in multiple ways. One of which would be you showing the love of Christ to your sister in that moment.

[00:23:55] Suzette : Yeah.

[00:23:55]  Erin: And I think you actually said that earlier on, but,

[00:23:59] I think we all need that pushback. I need that pushback. You’re talking about caregiving, but I think what you’re talking about relates to so many people, it relates to the caregivers, but it relates to people that you see something in front of you and, that’s the plan that God has for you to walk in, and struggling with that willingness.

[00:24:19] Suzette : Yeah. I wouldn’t have chosen that, especially now. What I know what I’ve learned. definitely wouldn’t have chosen this, but I probably still would have done it. I wouldn’t have changed this. I wouldn’t have. and you’re, right. I don’t always think in those terms about what is, you said it very eloquently, you’re showing the love of Christ to others.

[00:24:37] For so long, my focus was on my career, I that’s what I was doing. And I went to school and all of it, but that was all about me. Right. And then, coincidentally with the caregiving shortly thereafter in the midst of like a mom, recovering Michelle, moving in, I had a job change too.

[00:24:57] I never would have given up all that responsibility on my own. I was ahead of the department. I had 40 employees working for me. I had all of this and then all of a sudden things changed. I didn’t get demoted. Didn’t lose any pay. Just got a big change in the job. And I went down to one employee.

[00:25:13] In a different building, very quiet, not in the hub of all the activity different scope of work. And I’m like, oh, well I have the skills for this work, but my gosh, I’m dying of boredom here. What is going on? I don’t understand. And I had about a year in the backside of a desert here with God, trying to figure out why I had to stop figuring it out.

[00:25:33] And in retrospect, I see where he just store the band-aid off. This is going to happen. You’re not going to have time for this job and it’s going to be hard for you, but maybe that job is a little too important for you anyway. And we’re going to realign your priorities here, and I have something for you to do.

[00:25:50] So you’re going to know this is what you’re going to do. And so you’re saying it in the meantime, this is my responsibility. That’s great. very clear way to say that is to say, this is my responsibility, That’s where the willingness comes to say, okay, I’m going to stop fighting with you. God, and saying, okay what are you going to have me? Do I give up? I’m not fighting with it anymore. It’s so much easier,

[00:26:13] To ever see when you’re doing something that’s hard. It’s harder than you expected. Why is it so hard? Why am I not getting the answer? Why is this not working? if it doesn’t work, maybe, maybe it’s not supposed to.

[00:26:27] So maybe we should stop and sit back and listen, wait to see what that has to say.

[00:26:32] and then if it is something he wants you to do, he’ll clear the way as he’s done or that we see here in our household.

[00:26:38] And I’m so sure you have, and then people have. He’ll figure out a way for it to happen. But he definitely closes the door on something when he doesn’t want you to go.

[00:26:47]  Erin: Yeah. I feel like I’m thinking through all of the different things you’re saying there, because I feel like I dunno, one of the verses that comes to mind, I don’t know the reference, but where it says, like Paul was prevented and going to like such and such a place, I feel like it was Damascus or Macedonia or something like that. But it says he was prevented in going and how like the doors do close. But like you’re saying, there are also challenges. And so, I’m thinking , How do we know? how do we know when the door is closed and how do we know when we’re supposed to keep pressing until the door is actually closed?

[00:27:24] Suzette : That’s, that’s the challenge.

[00:27:26]  Erin: is, it is. Yeah, I have an experience that was kind of different On the other side of it, where had one day I had something planned at the end of the day that I knew God wanted me to do, everything lined up for it to work.

[00:27:40] And it was like, right, this is going to happen. I’m going to go and help this person. And it was just all lined up and I was very excited about it. Well, then I got to work that day and everything was going wrong, but I was like, wait, but everything was lining up that I was going to be able to go there. And I felt like as everything was going wrong, I actually, because I still knew in my heart, God wants me to do this. Like saw that as the enemy, trying to stop me from doing something that God wanted me to do. It could look similarly. Sometimes God closes doors and sometimes there’s resistance because God has laid out something for us to do. We need to push through those challenges.

[00:28:22] Suzette : yeah. I can relate to that now. I had a lot of resistance after things started escalating and we saw a decline and then we learned about Alzheimer’s and all of that, and also resistance to job change, And then you look back on things To see that how do we know?

[00:28:37] Well, that’s

[00:28:38] where trust comes in, right? Because I think the more we trust we’re going to recognize I’m the one fighting this, right. When the enemy is doing something

[00:28:48] this is from outside. But when it’s just completely not supposed to happen that door is shut pretty firmly, pretty firmly. There’s no working around it. But it’s different for everybody, but I think when it’s something he’s wants to do, it’s going to come clearer to us, the more we trust and persevere in it.

[00:29:07] Is it, is it a thought and does the thought go away? Is it the thought that persists and then, you can eventually address it or is it something it’s just not letting you go? So now I’ve got to do something about it,  And realizing, is it in Gods will? Is this aligned with everything that I know, about God about what scripture says, and is it aligning with that or my pushing in the wrong direction? It’s not easy and it’s different every time. Darn it.

[00:29:35]  Erin: Yeah. but I love that test. You’re saying , is this in line with the character of who God is and what I know about God and who he is his word. Right. I think that’s a wonderful test of that. And I also think although we haven’t yet spoke about the Holy Spirit, I think really in that too, there’s this underlying piece that the Holy Spirit gives us, right?

[00:29:57] The fruit of the spirit, right? One of them is peace and there’s a peace that can come over us in knowing that , no, this door shut from the Lord, or this Is something that I still need to pursue until I have that peace that this door is because Lord.

[00:30:12] Suzette thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for sharing joys and challenges in your life. Thank you for sharing the honesty of how choosing to walk in trust and choosing to be willing to do so. As a challenge every day. I very much relate to that and I think a lot of listeners will.

[00:30:30] Yeah. would you be willing to close us in prayer?

[00:30:33] Suzette : Lord God, thank you so much for this time together with Erin. I’m thankful to share about caregiving and challenges and trusting. I hope that it encourages others that are in caregiving positions, but really some of this, it just applies to everyone.

[00:30:50] It’s just trusting you and standing on your word and your character and what you’ve already done in our lives, Lord that makes focusing on you that much easier to do just to shut out the world and realize that you are standing with us every minute. you are there. Bless Erin, and what she’s doing and this podcast to encourage other people, to take steps to trusting you and all that they do.

[00:31:16] in Jesus name. Amen.

[00:31:18]  Erin: Amen. Well, thank you so much. Yeah,

[00:31:21] Thank you guys so much for joining us. You can find Suzette over at myconcretedove.com where she talks about everything from joy to anxiety, to the adventures of the caregiving. I know that checking her out would be encouragement to her, but also I think it would be encouragement to you. I would love to connect with you guys. The best place for you to do that is over at Instagram at steps to trusting you can also find me at steps to trusting Facebook, come over, join the conversation.

[00:31:54] Let me know how the show impact you. If you enjoyed the show, Leaving a comment or review would be a blessing as it helps other people find out about the show and understand more fully what it’s about.

[00:32:06] Erin: I hope to see you back here next time, where we will be discussing the question. How do I find freedom from that nagging feeling that tells me I need to be enough.

[00:32:18]  Erin: until then, I want to leave you with this reminder from Ephesians two 10 for we are God’s workmanship created in Christ Jesus do good works, which he prepared beforehand for us to walk in them. I am praying for you you keep on stepping.