Come join Eileen Hammerman and I as we discuss how easily we can look to God’s good gifts to bring us satisfaction instead of worshiping Him.  These idols can sneak in and hide.  Our gracious God can use anything to weed them out, even the discontentment we feel when they can’t satisfy.  If you have wondered why you can’t find contentment or wish your circumstances would change so that you could feel joy, this episode is for you.  

You can find Eileen at Finelinesinthefaith.com

Eileen’s blog posts where she shares some of her story.  

https://www.finelinesinthefaith.com/not-my-story/

https://www.finelinesinthefaith.com/not-my-story-part-2/

Journaling Questions:

·      Am I looking for satisfaction in places other than God? 

·      Can good come from the suffering or hardship I feel?  

·      Am I willing to look for the good God is working even in struggle?

·      Am I discontent?  Why?  What am I looking to fill a need in my heart?  

·      What’s going on behind the crisis in my heart?

·      How could God be using this to encourage me to trust Him more deeply?

·      Where am I trusting in myself or others instead of trusting in God?

We often find ourselves in this place and it can be overwhelming.  I have gathered some verses and some questions into a journaling resource to help us process what’s next- how do we act in trust? 

Sign up here to receive your free, 5-day journaling tool to help explore your next step of trust.  

 I want to hear from you!
 You can find me and join in the conversation on Facebook and Instagram @stepstotrusting.

Hashtag your story of God’s faithfulness and stepping out in faith. #stepstotrusting

Verses mentioned in the episode:

·      Romans 1:25

·      Philippians 1:6

·      God takes our sin and gives us his righteousness

·      Nothing new under the sun

·      Ephesians 2:10

Special thanks to Jim Dougherty for creating the music for the show! Check out his Album City of God on Spotify or Apple Music.

See below for a full transcript of the show. 

[00:00:00] Erin: Hi, this is Erin Michele. Welcome to steps to trusting. At steps to trusting it is our goal to meet you where you are in your faith journey, and to encourage you to continue take steps to trusting the Lord more fully

[00:00:14] Welcome back. this conversation is with Eileen Hammerman and Eileen had a lot to share about how she found herself where she currently can walk and trust.

[00:00:25] But guys, to get to this place of trust, Eileen talks about what it took to get her there. She talks about how God un- did some of the things that she had wrapped up into her life, how he stripped away some of the idols that she had allowed to become a first importance to her guys. This conversation is for all of us. Who find ourselves in a place where we see God’s gift. And we pursue that instead of pursuing the giver of good gifts. I hope that this conversation with Eileen encourages you as she points us not to look at the gift itself for encouragement or satisfaction belonging, but instead to shift our eyes to the giver of gifts. Yes. Hey Eileen, thanks for joining me today. I’m glad that we could have this conversation We’re going to kind of jump in and we’re going to start in the middle of the story. so Eileen, how did you find yourself in this place where you find that you can trust the Lord in, on a more daily basis.

[00:01:34] Eileen: I think what led to my steps to trusting on a daily basis is having to go back to a time that I didn’t have that trust. so I definitely trust the Lord more today than ever before, but it took a lot of. Pain getting there.

[00:01:54] Erin: What does trusting God look like for you on a daily basis?

[00:01:58] Eileen: Trusting God on a daily basis, looks like

[00:02:02] knowing God has every detail of my life and whatever situation that detail is in, whether it’s a sick child. Whether it’s a circumstance that doesn’t go my way. I know God is not surprised by it. And I know he’s in control and I can trust in him to take care of those details of my life that could potentially cause me great anxiety and worry.

[00:02:33] So I worry less than my life today than I did before. I just worry less.

[00:02:41] Erin: Can you tell us a little bit about how you got to that place of worrying less?

[00:02:46] Eileen: I had to face some things that used to worry me a lot. So I used to have so much anxiety that took over my life and the anxiety was wrapped around my kids’ health. I had some sick kids for a while. I had some minor health issues, but I would just worry about everything.

[00:03:12] it came down to realizing I just don’t have control over those things. God had to show me how little control I had over my kids’ health, over circumstances, over those things. So I’m starting to dive deep, but it was through that tough time that that revealed some lack of trust. the catalyst that showed me how little control I had was. Moving to a new town and trying to make friends. And I used to make friends easily. but I moved to this new church. Couldn’t make friends, didn’t have the community-based that I so desired and longed for, things seem to not go my way for a long time.

[00:03:59] So no community kids were sick. I was tired, exhausted, and anxiety just grew in me more and more. I would get triggered easily with anxiety and I would have panic attacks often. Whereas prior to that time, I knew how to avoid those triggers that led to anxiety or panic attacks. I couldn’t avoid it anymore. My triggers grew. and I realized I had a big problem with trusting the Lord. it was not clear to me then that I had a trust issue if that makes sense.

[00:04:38] Erin: Yeah, of course.

[00:04:40] Eileen: But I knew things were unraveling in my life quickly and I was turning into a hot mess. Life was getting messy.

[00:04:48] Erin: Yeah,

[00:04:49] And I’ve heard you talk about this timeframe as a time of undoing in your life. Can you tell us a little bit more about what you felt like God was.

[00:04:57] undoing in those circumstances for you?

[00:05:00] Eileen: Yeah,

[00:05:01] he was undoing things that I had known I had grown up in the church. I was a church girl, grew up in the faith, put my faith in Christ at a young age. when I went through this time of I’m doing, it was

[00:05:18] being in a church environment that I did not connect well. And Not having the community that I’ve been used to for so long in my life. Church, community, church, friends were always my place of belonging and it was not happening.

[00:05:36] I can look back and now say that God was perhaps stripping things that I knew in my life that were good and godly things and kind of temporarily taking them away from me.

[00:05:50] it was a very lonely and isolating place. I felt lonely and isolated.

[00:05:56] Erin: So what you’re explaining and feeling like God was stripping things from you. I think it could be very challenging and actually crying out wondering if God is trustworthy because he’s taking things that seem good.

[00:06:09] Eileen: Yes.

[00:06:10] Erin: is that your reaction or did you feel differently about God’s working in your life in that way?

[00:06:17] Eileen: Yeah, I don’t think that I knew what God was actually doing. I was miserable when I was feeling lonely and isolated and questioning myself and my good enough person and good enough friends. what’s wrong with me? Why aren’t I making friends? why are things so difficult? So I was really angry and unfortunately the environment that I was taking this out on, was it church because that’s not where I was getting my needs met.

[00:06:49] So you would think in this good and godly place, you’d get your needs met. Fellowship. it’s what I’ve known and yet it was not happening. I was getting angry at church. angry with people at church and I was growing very toxic in my heart towards them.

[00:07:09] what I didn’t realize is I think God was trying to get to something deeper in my life. Then I can look back and know he was trying to get to something deeper in my life.

[00:07:21] I think when God was stripping away of the, of the things that I long for, the things that I had known for so long, like church sense of belonging, friendship. I felt like he stripped those away. I believe those were idols in my heart. when I wasn’t getting what I wanted, it was painful.

[00:07:43] I was just not happy getting what I wanted and long for. like I said before, we’ve those things were good and godly things. So but those good and godly things can be idols. you just don’t realize they are idols until you don’t have them anymore. then how you respond to not having them anymore is a good indication how much of an idol they really were or are. It wasn’t just church. It was perhaps the catalyst to strip away this

[00:08:22] sense of belonging strip away what I’ve known, strip away , a comfort strip away of the idols in the heart and kind of reveal something deeper in my heart that needed to be revealed.

[00:08:35] Erin: do you think your anger and frustration that was happening when you weren’t able to connect and make friends, do you think that was revealing the place of importance you had allowed them to become in your life? Yeah.

[00:08:49] Eileen: Yeah. I didn’t realize it then. when you’re so stuck on what’s good and what seems normal and what, what everyone else is, has around you or appears to have around you. And you’re not having it. You, you tend to go more inward and think, well, then there’s something wrong with me.

[00:09:06] So, those are natural thoughts that I think many of us probably experienced when we’re not getting what we want. What’s wrong with me. so then we just start taking responsibility.

[00:09:17] Erin: I’ve heard this term, the sin behind the sin and

[00:09:21] Eileen: that’s a good term.

[00:09:22] Erin: Yeah.

[00:09:22] And just kind of thinking about how, what was presenting itself as frustration and discontent. you see that that’s what people would see on the outside, or that’s what you would see in yourself until you start digging and you start going, why am I discontent?

[00:09:39] Why am I frustrated? Why am I, angry that this person, or, this group of people is not reacting the way I desire and that underlying sin or that underlying idol, I think that then gets revealed. And I guess this is part of it that refining that, it’s not ever.

[00:10:03] Really encouraging to someone go, God is doing something awesome in you Right.

[00:10:07] now while you are struggling so hard. But on the other side of it I feel like for me within the last year, it’s the First time that I actually like understand the verse that talks about it, being a joy to suffer with the Lord or suffer for the Lord. but I’ve never even understood what it would mean to have joy in my sufferings. James one says count it all joy. My brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, Where trials, I feel like you look at a trial and you go, Nope, I don’t want it. Instead of going, okay. God, what joy are you going to bring in my life? What growth are you going to bring? What’s going to be revealed in me. Yeah,

[00:10:50] Eileen: definitely. I totally, I I think when you go through a couple of trials in your life and you really see how, how God was there with you in those times, it gives you more encouragement to face the next one. Not saying it’s going to be easy, but there’s definitely more confidence and more assurance that, your God is a faithful God to carry you through.

[00:11:15] Erin: And so what changed for you from that place of feeling bitter and angry that you could actually see that God was revealing something in your heart?

[00:11:26] Eileen: So when I saw my circumstances not changing, and I would say this has been going on for five years of being in this place, it was a long time. I finally surrendered to the Lord. I finally surrendered and submitted to this process that I think God had me in. I said, Lord, I have no idea what you’re doing.

[00:11:50] I’m miserable, but I’m submitting this to you. What do you want to show me what what’s going on? that’s what I did. I believe from there, that was a turning point It turned from a reaction to more of a response to my circumstances. It didn’t go away because at that point I was having still a lot of anxiety and a lot of panic attacks.

[00:12:14] but there was a major turning point once I submitted to the Lord, he led me well, I went through this one week of, I call it my hell week or crisis week where my anxiety just came to a real, absolute high and I was dysfunctional. so I can’t blame that on church.

[00:12:37] I think there was some other issues going on, but I think this is when, when my anxiety kind of was at its worse. That’s when I realized, wow, there may be something deeper going on.

[00:12:49] Erin: What, what was that? Something deeper that God put his finger on for you?

[00:12:54] Eileen: Amidst all this external pain with church and dissatisfaction. I knew there was some pain going on in my heart. with dealing with this anxiety, dealing with church, I just felt this rawness kind of come to the surface.

[00:13:10] after my crisis week where it was so bad. I could hardly breathe. I really felt like my sanity meant the line of insanity. after that I pursued the Lord hard and I said, God, what is this? Why, why am I this way? What what’s going on in the deeper parts of my heart.

[00:13:31] I’m really feeling this pain. So I’ve started pursuing him hard. once I leveled out and I did have to take some medication to get my anxiety down. Cause I could not, Scripture would not bring my anxiety down. It just, I had to take some medication time to bring it down and I did and I leveled out , so I just pursued at heart with hard with the Lord, very intentional.

[00:13:55] I would just be praying hard, Lord, what is this? what’s going on and why am I having this issue? and a lack of trust. there was one morning where I got up and went to the backyard. I just could not sleep. I was out in the backyard, just praying hard and something from my childhood came to mind. we had a suicide in the family.

[00:14:20] it was a grandparent. the ripple effect of that in the family impacted me. it impacted me through my mom and I saw, some things in my mom where she was really working things out in her own life. I saw my mom, not as emotionally stable and well for a time when I was really young.

[00:14:44] I was afraid she was going to do the same in her own life as a young kid. So from that point on when I was a young girl and I saw my mom in a situation where I just didn’t feel like she was stable, I turned to myself. I took care of myself. I made sure she was okay. didn’t rock the boat.

[00:15:07] I’d never fought with my parents. I was a good girl. and then growing up in the church, coupled with that home life. I was a good girl. I think that started a pattern of thinking I was in control. I thought my mom’s wellbeing was in my hands. I felt like I could control her wellbeing.

[00:15:29] it just started a more of a trust in myself and a false sense of power in myself yeah, it was a false sense of power that I thought I had in other people’s lives. So that started a bad pattern. I would say that was a coping mechanism that I developed with my mom that I probably needed them.

[00:15:51] I didn’t know how else to cope. I was an only child, so I didn’t talk to anybody. So it was a coping mechanism, but that coping mechanism turned in to, I would say a simple pattern of not trusting God and not knowing what that looked like. So going back to the backyard after experiencing such high anxiety and coming down and trying to seek the Lord, that’s what I believe he revealed to me.

[00:16:23] So my apparent crisis with church was just the catalyst to go deeper into something. That I think he wanted me to see and get healed from. So in the backyard I felt pain from my childhood in that moment. I invited the Lord. I asked him to heal me, heal that pain. didn’t want to be a victim of it, but I asked him to heal it.

[00:16:51] then I confessed the sin that, that produced in my life and that sin of lack of trust, wanting to be in control. that was a turning point in the backyard. I was healed and I confessed. from that point on, it was as if I had a new sense of freedom. I was not being controlled by those old patterns anymore.

[00:17:15] Erin: Eileen. Thank you so much for sharing that with us.

[00:17:18] I listen and I hear. This heart wrenching experience, but I also see the, the humility within that pain, where you took responsibility for how you chose to react it’s beautiful to see how you took responsibility for your reaction to circumstances that you found yourself in that’s an encouragement to me.

[00:17:43] I can see too, how that coping mechanism came through in what was happening when you were at churches, from this

[00:17:53] expectation that you had on yourself

[00:17:56] and that this reaction, That was caused by this underlying part of your story, or that started in this underlying part of your story was something that was still happening to you in the churches that you were still relying on yourself to be good enough to do good enough, relying on yourself to be a good enough friend.

[00:18:20] and this is something that.

[00:18:22] I really relate to, I really relate to that. if I can be a certain way than other people will treat me a certain way and this is how life should be. Right. And I think we often get stuck in that pattern of thinking that we are in control. Like you’re saying that pattern of thinking that our actions almost deserve other actions, benefits, whether it’s in relationship or, even when you talk about a sick you’re sick children, having a sick kid.

[00:18:57] If I take care of them, if I take them to the doctor, if I do all the things and they should get better. then the anger that then comes when it doesn’t look that way, I’m also just thinking about, as you were talking, I was thinking , hindsight is 2020, right. when you look back and you can say, this is what God was doing then but when you were in it, it was really, really hard.

[00:19:20] Right. However, on this side of, of seeing what God was doing in your life, how would you describe The benefits of what happened?

[00:19:33] Eileen: The benefits of what happened? Oh my goodness. First of all, it was so worth going through that time. It was, I would say from start to finish at least a ten-year trial 10 years, the benefit of the time was freedom. Freedom, and a deeper joy, a genuine joy and peace. honestly, the fruit of the spirit, it was the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

[00:20:06] what God did to remove some sin, some unhealthy patterns in my life, has produced more fruit of the spirit. I’ve been able to grow this fruit in my life and I get the benefit of it. And I hope other people do to get the benefit of that. But there’s a lot more freedom I have within.

[00:20:30] another benefit is I can walk alongside other people who are going through a similar situation. I can encourage them that if they’re in a trial , this is divine and this is good. God’s going to use this, just wait.

[00:20:47] And so I love getting to do that for other people. Hence why I write, that’s why I write it’s to encourage other people and to know, cause a lot of times these deep and hard I will call it sanctification these deep times of sanctification. A lot of times people don’t talk about it. yes, we talk about good and godly things and how we’re supposed to be as Christians. And we’re supposed to do this and this and this, but sometimes we don’t know how to get there. sometimes getting there, we have to go through these times of trials .

[00:21:26] And it looks so different for everybody, but it often looks so messy. And so unpleasing to us. And we think to other people that we don’t want to expose that side of our faith walk to other people. So when we hide, ,

[00:21:43] was my experience.

[00:21:44] Erin: I love what you’re saying, how, we can look back on a trial and say, even actually I’m thankful for it. I have experienced that myself and I love the truth of that. And yet I struggle with how to relay that joy to someone who is in a trial. As you’re saying, I want people to learn from what I’ve been through and, and, and encourage people that these trials bring growth.

[00:22:12] because it’s a sensitive topic of when people are struggling, how do you speak encouragement over hard places in people’s lives?

[00:22:22] Eileen: First of all, I validate their struggle and then I just asked questions of what the struggle is. What I don’t do is look at their struggle and think I know. So I’ll give them a scripture and I’ll just give him a pat answer. That’s what I don’t do. I take time to listen and I take time to ask questions. To encourage somebody, It takes time to listen, ask questions and discern what is going on in this person’s life. then from there, you just pray that the Holy Spirit will use your words to encourage them and encourage their soul. But I’d say taking time to listen and asking questions is huge.

[00:23:07] I don’t think people ask questions enough questions today,

[00:23:11] Erin: I would agree with you. I think that’s something that we need to work on instead of coming in and thinking we know the answer and even like you’re saying, you’ve gone through something, so you do have something to share, but instead of thinking, you know, the answer for their specific situation to figure out what’s going on in their life is so very important.

[00:23:31] Eileen: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:23:33] Erin: I think, as you’re saying that some of the questions that are coming to my mind are questions like well, why do you think you feel angry? Why do you think you feel lonely? What are those things stemming from? And I think that as you were saying, there was a crisis that seemingly brought with this growth in your life or in this learning, but the crisis wasn’t the real issue.

[00:24:00] The something behind that, the crisis revealed was a deeper issue. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:24:06] I think part of that then is to ask those questions, like what’s going on behind this crisis in your heart and, and how could God be using this to encourage you to trust him more deeply? I think so often the trials in our life are opportunities to point us to trust God. I think so often what needs to be revealed in us is that we’re trusting in ourselves. I think that’s a common, I don’t know if it’s common for other people. It’s common for me I, I feel it.

[00:24:43] Eileen: me too. Oh, for sure. I mean, if you were to have asked me if I had a trust issue in the midst of my trial, I’m a church girl. I put my faith and trust in Christ. we use all these terms. Do we really know what it means to trust? I don’t think I knew what it really meant to trust until my trust was put to the challenge.

[00:25:09] it’s like I’ve heard this. Maybe you have to that what we know in our heads, doesn’t necessarily match our hearts. So the journey from our head knowledge to our heart is a tough one sometimes. and truly understanding, our God and his truth and his love for us and that he is trustworthy.

[00:25:31] That’s a journey from the head to the heart and that, that is a painful one and it was a painful one for me.

[00:25:37] Erin: Yeah. I had a conversation with someone recently talking about how Often to really learn a lesson. It takes hurt, and pain in our lives.

[00:25:46] I think this is true even with our kids. Like, when I think of my kids and I tell them, like, that’s not good for you, that’s a bad idea. You can tell them a million times until they’ve pinched their finger in the drawer or like whatever, then they really know. Oh, okay. That’s not a good idea.

[00:26:03] and, I feel like having gone through challenging things, having seen how I could have maybe learned this lesson more readily if I was actually listening to whether it be wise people in my life or, or looking at God’s word. I feel like it’s sad to see that it often does take her in our lives to then be more receptive.

[00:26:27] Eileen: Right.

[00:26:27] Erin: How,

[00:26:28] has going through the pain of that trial? how does that affect you now in your trust?

[00:26:35] Eileen: My hands are more open. I am not clinging to the things in my life. Like I was thinking I had control thinking. I could, all my desires and my hands are more open to the Lord and what he wants, more of my prayers end in thy will be done, not mine simply.

[00:26:58] there’s something freeing in that. Cause I know I will be more at peace. I’m not saying I won’t suffer in God’s will, but I’ll know that the end result will be more peace and freedom when it’s in him and trusting in him.

[00:27:17] I know that that will be the end result. Even if my next trial I’ll struggle, grieve, whatever the next trial is. I know he will be with me and I’ll be okay.

[00:27:32] Erin: If you were summarize what happened to take you from this place of deep trial and grief and the steps that you took with the Lord to this place where you’re trusting him more deeply, how would you describe those steps?

[00:27:45] Eileen: Submitting to him. Stop fighting my circumstances and submit and surrender. That was probably the first step when God started to have his way with me and things started to change. So submit, surrender to him and pursue him hard. Seek him hard, pray, get into scripture surround my style self with people of understanding.

[00:28:12] So those are some of the steps that led me to trusting in him and being open to people and having conversations and finding like-minded people that helped too and just taking those steps, one step at a time, God was always faithful.

[00:28:33] As I look back to providing more steps and he continues to be faithful and providing more steps to trusting him.

[00:28:41] Erin: Yeah,

[00:28:42] I think it’s cool to look across at the way that we can look at, this is part of my journey and I came from here to here. Right. And that’s, those are part of the steps that where God has brought us in faith and hope in him. And yet we are still in a journey.

[00:29:02] That’s a daily journey that there’s still this like knowing that we can trust him more, knowing that we can know more about him knowing that we can, well, probably each day we’ll be faced with a challenge of my will or your will God. how do you daily I guess feed yourself.

[00:29:23] Or allow the Lord to feed you and take care of yourself that you are in a place where you feel stronger, able to take those steps towards his will, Instead of yours.

[00:29:33] Eileen: I do a daily Bible reading and it, and it’s different every year. Last year, for example, I studied the gospels and only stayed in the gospels and I got to know Christ and the more I got to know him, the more I was amazed at who he was and who he is, and just fell in love more with him.

[00:30:02] now I’m on a different Bible reading track where I’m reading a Spurgeon and reading the context of the verse that he’s focusing on and a commentary. So I just try to put time into studying God’s word and nurturing my soul. I’m reading books that are encouraging. I would say that even, I met some new friends outside, like that ten-year period, just where we can see more eye to eye and have some really good

[00:30:35] conversations about the Lord. that feeds me too. So it’s not just one thing. It’s not just Bible reading. It’s not just talking to a friends. It’s, it’s all of it that has encouraged my heart. And so that God feeds me.

[00:30:54] Erin: when I look at how you say your story, and I think about, your focus may have been really desiring the friend, really wanting the person to pour into you.

[00:31:05] now, like you’re talking about friendships and relationships and how that’s important, but that’s just a part of the picture. It’s not the picture of how God was taking care of you. it sounds to me again, like you were, I don’t know, looking to relationship with people and that as that fulfillment.

[00:31:27] I have been in places where that expectation where you’re seeking something more readily than seeking God and thinking it’s that thing that it’s always been is going to be what brings you satisfaction or fulfillment or growth when the reality of it is even a good thing.

[00:31:47] If our eyes are taken off the Lord first and it becomes about that thing or that person or that relationship instead of yeah. Of looking to the Lord and looking at those things as his gifts to us,

[00:32:01] Eileen: So true.

[00:32:02] Erin: that’s something that the Lord

[00:32:04] has been teaching me that I need to stop getting confused by the gifts that he’s giving me.

[00:32:11] Right. That, he’s giving me a good gift and then I’m seeking that gift instead of going forward. Thank you for this gift in my life, because it is a gift to have friendship is a gift to have people who speak wisdom into you. But it can’t be the people it can’t, it can’t be us seeking those people.

[00:32:30] It has to be a seeking the Lord and allowing them to be a part of that relationship too,

[00:32:35] Eileen: It’s so true. when you’re saying that it reminds me of the verse in Romans

[00:32:41] It’s Romans one 25 They exchanged the truth of God for a lie and worshiped and served what has been created instead of the creator who is praised forever.

[00:32:54] Amen.

[00:32:55] it’s that idea that we’re man just tends to be focused on the created and not the creator.

[00:33:01] though, like we said, what’s good and godly is gifts like friendships and, and children and husbands and church. those are all good and godly things, but yes, they can be things that we put above God.

[00:33:16] Erin: yeah. If we look at this world and we see the beautiful creation part of it. Right. And, what’s visible and what’s in front of us. Right. And so I think it’s very easy to see the gift and

[00:33:30] to lose sight of the fact that

[00:33:32] it is from the creator who made that. Yeah.

[00:33:35] Eileen: so true. So true. Yeah,

[00:33:39] Erin: Are there any other verses that come to mind for you that help you in your daily walk of trust?

[00:33:46] Eileen: , one of my favorite verses is, Philippians one six only, but it’s been my favorite verse for a long time. this verse came out of my first trial in my, from my twenties.

[00:33:59] Because I strive to be in control and to do well and to be that perfect kid. And and that translated into some things in my adult life. I love that. I just don’t have to be perfect and get it right. so when you go through trials, when I went through this trial, I felt like a mess and, and so imperfect and

[00:34:26] it’s okay.

[00:34:28] And so this verse, Philippians one six, Says, and it’s Paul speaking, I am sure of this, that he, who started a good work in, you will carry it on to the completion until the day of Christ Jesus. And that verse just truly sent me free from having to have it all figured out right now that it is an ongoing process until I meet Christ face to face.

[00:34:55] so there is no burden that I carry and having to have it all figured out. that verse really gives me permission. So it’s been that that’s been actually my life first and it continues to be okay.

[00:35:08] Erin: so much hope in that verse when we question ourselves. I think I often have struggled in times where I want to actually live out and be the person that God sees me to be. Where it says in the Bible that God takes our sin and gives us his righteousness.

[00:35:26] I actually want to. Live put in that sanctified place where I actually am the righteous person that he gives me credit to be and feel so frustrated with myself when I’m not there. And that reminder of that’s where one day when we’re with the Lord, we will be, we will one day actually, attain that, but that’s not because of us.

[00:35:49] It’s because of the Lord. And to be reminded that he is working in me, brings me so much hope when I see my failures and when I want to condemn myself because of my failure.

[00:36:01] Eileen: Right. Yeah. That’s so good. We really do have a lot of room to not have to be everything we think we need to be right now.

[00:36:14] Erin: Yeah.

[00:36:15] well, Eileen, would you be willing to close us in prayer for today?

[00:36:19] Eileen: Yes, absolutely. Heavenly father. Oh God. We just thank you for this time, this conversation with Erin and we just pray that you would use it for your glory and we just thank you God, that you work in our lives in different ways. You work in each of our lives so differently and uniquely, we all have different.

[00:36:44] Past different situations in our past different trials that we have experienced or are going through now. And Lord, that is not a surprise to you. And I love also the verse that there is nothing new under the sun that whatever each of us are going through, it’s not a new thing.

[00:37:06] We just thank you that you can use these times of struggle and trial Lord to bring us to a better place, a place of freedom, a place of deeper joy a place of peace with you father. thank you that you love us so much, that you don’t want to keep us in the same spot. but you’re working to keeping us on a path of trusting you and growing in that trust through these times of trials and struggles.

[00:37:36] So Lord, thank you so much for that. thank you for Erin and we just praise you and love you in Jesus name. Amen.

[00:37:44]  Erin: Amen. Well, thank you so much.

[00:37:46] Erin: If you guys want to check out more from Eileen, you can find her@finelinesinthefaith.com In fact, some of the stories that she shared today are also things she shared on her blog. So I’m going to leave some of those links below so you can go and check them out in greater detail. I pray that this is all an encouragement to you.

[00:38:08] I’m so thankful to Eileen for this time and the way that she shared with us, the hardship that she went through, when she put

[00:38:18] her identity, her satisfaction, She placed them somewhere externally from God, and she chose to place that on friendship. I hope you join us back here next time. Or I will be sharing a story of how I relate very much. to Eileen of letting something of importance, slide into that place of first importance.

[00:38:41] if you relate, if you two have found yourself off course with your focus, being something other than God,

[00:38:48] please join us next week. If the show has blessed you, I would love to hear about it.

[00:38:53] You can also go on and leave this podcast a review, which I would love leaving a review, helps other people to find the show and I would be greatly encouraged. Thank you guys for listening. if you want to connect with me, you can connect with me. On Instagram, or join my newsletter were announcements. Come out first

[00:39:12] With that newsletter. You’ll also receive My free five-day journaling resource for you guys. And that puts scripture alongside of questions to help you figure out and look at what is my next step that God has for me, according to what he tells me in the scripture. So I pray that that is a resource for you guys.

[00:39:32] I hope you join us back here next next time, but until then, I want to leave you with this reminder from Ephesians two 10 for we are God’s workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. I am praying for you as you keep on stepping.

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