I have been happily married to my high school sweetheart for about 19 years now. Together we are raising a family of five children. Sometimes I can see that my life is picturesque and at other times I can only see how hard it is. This journey in life and faith has not always been a smooth ride but God is faithful to be with me along the way.
Several years ago, if someone asked me if they could read what I was writing I would have probably turned them down. I was writing for me. I was writing to process and I was processing what was hidden deep in my heart. I was working through doubt and questions that I was not able to share for fear of shame or rejection. However, my face was turned to my Savior. I was seeking to know if He was trustworthy. Many times before in my life I had given Him pieces of my trust. It started when I was four.
I trusted in Jesus as my Savior at the age of four.
Sometimes, we look at statements like that and think it is a once and done thing but trusting in Jesus is really a journey. It has new challenges each day that invites us to trust Him deeper and with greater portions of our lives.
As I grew and there were more adventures and challenges on my horizon. I had to choose if I would trust Him in each one.
I trusted Him with my future and my dreams as I was falling in love. I trusted Him for my family as my husband and I desired to have a baby. I trusted Him with my desire to stay home with my children.
Though at these snapshots in time I have been trusting in Jesus, there has been an ebb and flow of me giving Him my trust and then taking it back to control for myself. I have held on tightly to some things that I was not ready to trust God with.
I say that I trust God with my family but do I trust if that means watching my children make mistakes and learning for themselves.
I say I trust God with my future but do I trust that this future may look different than I expect.
So, I want to tell you I trusted Jesus with my life when I was four but still I am taking steps to trusting Him.
This blog is a step in that trust. It is letting go of my story because I know it is really the story that God is writing in me. It is opening up and letting people into challenges and victories in my life. Through the ups and downs, periods of trust and periods of grasping tightly to my control God has been working. He has been showing me that He is trustworthy. And so, I hope to continue to let go of my control and take steps to trusting the only one who is trustworthy with my desires, my hopes, my dreams, my fears, with my everything.
My Favorite verse is Psalm 127:1
“Unless the Lord builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the watchman stays awake in vain.”
Bio:
Erin Michele Smith graduated from Eastern University with a Bachelor’s degree in Business Marketing and a minor in Communications. After a short term working the business world and starting a photography business, Erin stepped away to be a stay at home mom. During this time as she cared for a growing family, she successfully grew the photography business that she had started several years before. She currently splits her time spending a portion of the year being a stay at home mom and a portion of the year doing children’s portraits.
Erin has been married to Mark for 16 years and they are raising their 5 children in the suburbs of Philadelphia.
During this busy life with a young family, Erin has been involved in multiple bible studies at her church. She recently followed God’s leading to lead a discipleship group and pursue writing.